The Grand (Granger Bay) - Not that grand

At the Dear Me tasting the other night I met an awesome guy who told me a great story about The Grand Beach Cafe in Granger Bay. Now...I haven't reviewed the place yet but there have been plenty of mixed reports. (read some of them here). The general consensus seems to be that they have an amazing view and because of that the standard of food is not very good. In fact, words like "horrid" and "extremely disappointing" pop up. If there is one thing that everyone seems to agree on though it is the shocking service. Something that irritates me more than anything is when a restaurant realises their location is fantastic, and adopt a we-don't-really-need-to-try-because-people-will-come-anyway policy. The story I heard the other night seemed to sum up what everyone is saying about The Grand. It goes like this...

He arrived at The Grand and ordered a Peroni. Fine, things were going according to plan. He drinks the Peroni and goes back to the bar to order another one. The barman's reply? "We don't serve Peroni." The guy explains nicely, holding up his empty bottle as evidence, that he just bought one. "You must've brought that in yourself, where is a receipt?" was the barman's only conclusion. Our boy goes back to his table. Eventually the owner comes over and explains that somebody else must've brought them in and HIDDEN THEM BEHIND THE BAR. WTF? ARE YOU GUYS GETTING THIS???? Hey? How priceless is that? Well needless to say the guy was speechless and his expression obviously registered with the owner who then gave him a Peroni "on the house." Wow. What a charmer. 

The night got better when the same friend then went back to the bar to get a cocktail. He asked for a cocktail menu and when he opened it it was nicely held together with...a big blob of bright pink bubblegum. Not exactly Grand. Not quite. He gave the barman (who saw the gum quite clearly) a pleading look but was given no apology. Just a casual "So what'll it be?"

Pathetic. 

He was aware enough to snap a quick photo of the disgusting menu. Now, I understand that these things happen in restaurants and some of you might be saying it's not The Grand's fault. I am well aware of that. What is their fault - totally their fault - is the way they handled it. Terribly. 

Cheers,

Jamie Who

 

The Kitchen - Quirky and cool in equal parts

I had it on very good authority from a reader of this blog who's opinion I have come to respect that The Kitchen in Woodstock was well worth a visit. Yesterday I stopped in for lunch and can honestly say it was one of the coolest and unique lunchtime venues I have had the pleasure of experiencing for a while....

Let's start with the decor. Imagine putting all the characters and colours of Alice in Wonderland into a blender and then taking the resulting mix and kind-of just throwing it around a room. That's the vibe at The Kitchen. But I mean that in a good way. From the customers to the awesome owner to the actual food itself the place is dripping with a vibrant energy that you can't buy or re-create. It's a special, intangible quality that some restaurants have and others don't. 

The room itself is tiny and can only seat about 15 - 20 people at a time (not that it's a problem because you can be in and out in 15 minutes if you want). I took up a seat at a low counter with my back to the action. I soon found myself turning around every couple of minutes as I tried to actually take it all in. There are trinkets everywhere with a collection of retro crockery that looks as if it has been collected from HUNDREDS of garage sales. Some of the food is laid out for you to admire (I saw the most decadent-looking chocolate cake I have ever seen alongside apple streudels and ginger fudge), some is behind glass (beetroot salad, buckwheat salad, potato salad etc.) and...well...some of it is just kind of lying around. Like the mielies I almost knocked over. Somehow it all works beautifully. 

The food itself has to be amongst some of the best-priced I have seen. You get to build your sandwich by choosing from a variety of artisanal rolls and fillings and finishing it off with some proper, homemade pestos, pickles, preserves and salads. I went with their famous grilled chicken on a 100% rye roll and built a side salad. My meal came to R35. Hey?!! How awesome is that. A wrap from Kauai costs more than that and believe me you cannot even compare the two. It would be like paying more for an ugly hooker except the cheap, hot hooker has a personality. Yeah...maybe that simile was a bit too hectic. But you get the point. Personality. X-Factor. That's what this place has. And as a result it falls into the Cheyne's and Superette category for me. Something a little bit different. 

The Kitchen is run by Karen Dudley who is pretty awesome herself. You should check out her site at www.karendudley.co.za 

If you don't you're a loser. 

Cheers,

Jamie Who

The new, improved sidewalk cafe - I will take our reader's word for it

A while back I posted the first entry inspired by a reader. Well, The Brother of The Other Guy Who Can Cook is at it again. This time he e-mailed me an emotional roller-coaster of a letter swinging from disgust ("How can you have the logo of Ocean Basket on such a beautiful site?") to excitement ("I discovered a place serving the best R20 breakfast in Cape Town") to desperation ("Where can I get meat aged for more than 25 days?"). Yeah look, our boy covered quite a wide range of things in one e-mail!

I will break it down for you though. A few years back when I was living nearby, I used to go and have a couple of glasses of wine pretty often at a little place in Vredehoek called The Sidewalk Cafe. Location-wise it was a cracker but the food was AVERAGE AT BEST. The whole place was tired and in need of a makeover. I drove past a few weeks ago and saw that there was an entirely different vibe going on. A good vibe. The type of vibe I wanted to be part of. The type of vibe I want you to be part of. So, after getting some heads-up from a few people I was intrigued. The fact that The Brother of The Other Guy Who Can Cook gives it the thumbs up is all I need. R20. For a full-on breakfast with egg, crispy bacon, proper tomatoes and toasted sourdough. Yes please. He goes on to tell me the new owners are the same team behind Bombay Bicycle Club. Interesting. Apparently they do a good lunch too. Definitely add it to your list of places to visit. I am.

So guys, as I've said before, please write in and tell me about cool places to go, restaurants you have had amazing times at, restaurants that were fu*king horrible, new recipes you have tried out etc. I'm not saying The Brother of The Other Guy Who Can Cook is making you look bad...but...well...he kind of is. If you're on this blog then you already have an interest in food. Let's share the love.

Cheers,

Jamie Who

Borough Market - A reader's review

Another new addition to the Jamie Who blog today in the form of a new tag. This one is called "Readers' adventures and inspirations" and is basically a celebration of you guys. What I want is for you peeps to e-mail me any interesting stories/pictures/reviews etc. that you have experienced in the food scene. If they're any good I will turn them into stories and post them.

I got the idea reading a pretty hilarious e-mail that the brother of The Other Guy Who Can Cook sent me. It was recalling his time in the Borough Market in London. (Google it). Now, I don't know what to call him so let's go with The Other Guy Who Can Cook's Brother, but this dude is PASS-ION-ATE about food and cooks better than some qualified chefs I know. He spoke so enthusiastically about the produce on offer that I felt I had to show you some of the pictures he took (they're the ones above by the way genius). So anyway, he went on to explain the parma ham, mushrooms and assorted organic meats. He explained the marbling, the different cuts of meat and the fresh vegetables. He told a story of standing in a queue for 30 minutes to get a roll with only three ingredients: Chorizo, rocket and roasted peppers. But he understood that the quality of food was worth it.

Here is a guy who understands Jamie Who. Here is a guy who understands how you can fall in love with food. And you know what? I'm finding more and more people out there who are the same. Lately when I'm out at dinner parties or having a few drinks I'm amazed at how often the conversation comes back to food. It's awesome.

So with that in mind, let me officially invite you to send me your food stories (jamiewhoblog@gmail.com) Make them good, I'm not going to use them if they're shit. That's not how we roll at Jamie Who.

And...just like that we have quietly reviewed a market overseas. Yip, we have gone global.

Cheers,

Jamie Who