Bramon - Cheeky or brilliant?

I have written before about the awesome Bramon Wine Estate just outside of Plett. I still find something outrageously cool about the fact that you can leave the beach and be sipping bubbly 20 minutes later in the middle of a vineyard with beautiful views of the Outeniqua Mountains. On my last visit The Queen (then merely The Princess) and I quaffed some bubbly and were so impressed we ended up getting some for our wedding. This time round was a different celebration...my birthday. This time we were going not only to drink (although we would be doing plenty of that by the way), we were going to check out the menu. 

At a long table literally in between the vineyards sat a hilarious crew made up of Pocket Rocket, Justice, Vin D, Shmici, Godmother E, Hotspur, Pafoof, The Bear, The Dragon and The Queen. The bubbly flowed and the menus were presented. Interesting. Basically, it's a selection of different tapas that you eat with freshly baked bread. The bread itself was amazing and we were presented with hummus, caprese salads, rocket pesto, smoked salmon, pickled mackerel, olives, peppered beef and more. The first thing I noticed is that I had bought suspiciously similar produce from a deli in Plett. I eventually asked our waiter (an absolute beauty by the way - obviously a stoner) about this and he unapologetically told me that they buy the stuff from the deli too. "So..." I asked our boy "What do you guys actually cook here?" I was not really prepared for the response. "Nothing." So..in a nutshell they buy the produce and bake some bread. I'm not even sure if they do that to be honest. I was seriously pissed off until someone told me maybe I should just appreciate how clever that actually is. I suppose it is but I was still left with a horrible taste in my mouth. 

The real highlight was still to come. Before I tell you about it let's play a game. Suppose you are a waiter and someone gives you what is obviously a surprise birthday cake. What is the worst thing you could do with that cake? Answer: Drop it on the kitchen floor. That's exactly what happened folks. But get this...keeping with our game, if you were the waiter who dropped what IS OBVIOUSLY A SURPRISE CAKE what is the worst way to handle the situation. Answer: Announce to the table that you have dropped the cake. Surely pulling aside someone and explaining the situation is better? Surely trying to actually make something edible in a restaurant is better? One would think so. Eventually the manager brought us some chocolate truffles as compensation. The first one was good, the second was really good. We began feeling sick by the fourth but ate about 8 each out of spite. To their credit they brought a few shooters and comped a bottle of bubbly. Not a bad recovery I guess. 

We left with opinion very much divided. Some thought Bramon's idea of simply unpacking food and re-presenting it was cheeky and cheap. Others thought it was business-savvy and brilliant. One thing I can say is their bubbly is delicious and the setting is beautiful. At least we all agreed on that. 

Give them a call on 044534 8007

Cheers,

Jamie Who 

La Boheme - Best value for money in Cape Town. Fact.

I wrote a nice little entry here about my review for La Boheme that made its way into Men's Health. They asked me to write 100 words on "The best restaurant in Cape Town if you didn't receive a Christmas bonus." I chose La Boheme. Anyway, I scanned the article and tried to drop it in but I was having no joy. (My technical skills - unlike my palette and my eyes - are unimpressive.) So....I'm going to have to re-write it. The whole thing. All 100 words. That's going to take like...7 minutes. I swear the sacrifices I make for you guys... 

Okay, without any more waffling, here it is: my take on La Boheme, word-for-word as it appears in this month's Men's Health. 

What makes La Boheme so cool is that it they aren't trying too hard. With an open-plan kitchen, a couple of black-and-white prints hanging on the wall, cases of microbrewery-style Brewers & Union beer as decor and bistro-styled food packed with flavour, they've got a good vibe going. Expect stuff like slow-roasted, pork belly, fillet with mushrooms risotto and beef carpaccio with caperberries. It's simple, honest food. And did I mention more than 60 wines available by the glass? Yes please. With pavement seating perfect for people watching and an owner who oozes pride for his restaurant you'd be a fool not to check it out. R85 gets you two courses and R105 gets you three. An absolute steal. 

So there it is dudes. I went and had a good night. So should you. 

Cheers,

Jamie Who

Bistro sixteen82 - Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

A while ago I wrote about the new restaurant - called Bistro sixteen82 - that was due to open on Steenberg wine estate. Last week I attended the launch and unfortunately had to leave very suddenly due to an emergency. I had to set down my second glass of their 1682 Brut MCC without even taking a sip so you must understand it really was an emergency. Anyway, before I left I did have time for a quick walk through and was extremely impressed with the vibe. The vibe is my sort of vibe. It's your sort of vibe. Hell, it's our sort of vibe. So I thought it was only fair that I cruised in for lunch on Sunday. Just to let you guys know what it was like. As I sat there, sipping a glass of their Sauvignon Blanc and taking in the view I realised how much I do for you guys. 

They have spared no expense with the decor. Harsh materials like glass, steel, aluminium and concrete are contrasted with natural, raw textures like driftwood, stone and timber. There are massive glass doors which fold and stack away to reveal what is surely one of the best settings in the whole of Cape Town. Rim-flow pools, with tables that are actually cut into the water features, really do make for a pretty special place. There is a path that guests can walk on to appreciate different viewpoints of the vineyards. The feature piece of the restaurant though is surely the massive lighting fixture hanging above their main bar. Loads - and I mean LOADS - of individually made glass balls have been painted in the colours to reflect grapes (that's red and green guys) and hang above a stark white bar which stands out beautifully against the dark colours of the rest of the restaurant. This place also has the best bathrooms I've seen in a while. Funky prints of close-up vineyards serve as wallpaper, the finishes are modern and clean and there are fresh, individual hand-towels. Do you guys also judge a place by its bathrooms? You should. 

What's that? Do they serve food? Very funny. Now go make me a smoothie. 

The restaurant is not open for dinners and closes at 8pm. As well as breakfast and lunch they will serve tapas from 5 - 7:30. They look pretty good with things like grilled octopus, whitebait and chorizo featuring. A little taste of Spain coming through nicely. Another cool feature is their Raw Bar where they will be serving...say it with me guys...raw stuff. So expect delicious charcuterie boards, cured salmon, ceviche, tartare, carpaccios, gravadlax, oysters, sashimi etc.

Back to the lunch I had there with The Bear and The Princess. I ordered the seared scallops with asparagus as a starter while the other two shared a duck salad. My starter was light and clean with the plumpest scallops I have eaten for a while. The duck salad was good too, with a nice smokiness. For mains The Bear enjoyed a steak roll and chips. This might sound like pub food, but the bowl of deliciously rich jus that it was served with made it far more advanced than that. The Princess enjoyed her main of mussels in a saffron cream but mentioned the actual amount of meat in the mussels was a bit disappointing. (I told you, she's a bit fussy). My main of beef tataki was incredible but absolutely tiny. Like, teeny tiny. I honestly reckon it should be twice the size to be considered a main. Dressed with ginger, radish, chilli and soy it was brilliantly seasoned but just not enough! We also nailed a bottle of Steenberg Sauvignon Blanc for only R50. Bloody hell. I though they were taking the piss. Luckily I had to get going because if I sat there all day paying cellar prices things could've gone wrong quite quickly...

All things considered Bistro sixteen82 is a show-stopper. Phenomenal views. Spectacular setting. A great menu. A talented chef (Brad Ball, previously of Olympia Cafe and The River Cafe). My only concern is that it becomes too touristy. But hey, if that's the biggest fault I could find with the place it must be a pretty good spot. Look, it helps that I can get hammered and stumble down the road to our house, but I would recommend this to anyone looking to enjoy a long, lazy, boozy lunch.  

Phone them to book a table on (021) 713-2211.

Cheers,

Jamie Who

P.S. How cool is it to write an article, and then tag it Cape Town AND winelands? Hey? Jeez I love this city. 

Caveau - Happy 5th birthday, I look forward to the next 5!

Lovelies, I write to you today through a hazy headache that could kill a small donkey. The throbbing pain is courtesy of the boys at Caveau and their 5th birthday which they celebrated last night. 

I could not believe the spread that was laid on for us. 20 wineries pouring generously the whole night and buckets of Grolsch wherever you looked. Basically, you couldn't stay sober. Not that we tried. 

And the food! Holy sh*t, the food. Salmon blinis, steamed mussels, sushi, pork belly, chicken satays, prawns, sausages with mustard, chicken wraps, lamb samoosas, spanakopita and of course their famous beef fillet cubes with bearnaise sauce. And desserts. White chocolate and dark chocolate brownies, mini eclairs and Lindt fountains. It was honestly a joke. 

Caveau is one of my favourite restaurants in the country. The food is consistently high, the winelist is the best I have seen anywhere and the hospitality is always amazing. The hosts, Jean and Brendon are always around and aren't shy of getting their hands dirty. (Just allow time for Brendon to roll up his Fabiani sleeves.) The menu changes daily according to what is fresh and there is a separate tapas menu which is perfect to pair up with after-work drinks. 

They are open in Heritage Square (92 Bree Street) in town and Josephine's Mill (13 Boundary Road) in Newlands. Give them a call on (021) 422-1367 and (021) 685-5140 respectively. 

Cheers,

Jamie Who